Monday, April 11, 2011

"Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself"...To be or not to be 16 again...

Well those of you who are also followers of my facebook (I sound so famous when I say this) know that I wrecked my almost 30 year old body last week at a special little place called H%LL...I mean SkyHigh. SkyHigh is the new, ultra cool trampoline warehouse near the GU district. I had been wanting to try this place out for a few weeks so when a friend..I won't name names (Matt) asked me to go, I decided that it was time to show off my fancy trampoline moves. At first I declined the invitation since I had been battling a chest cold for a few days but instead I packed up my inhaler, put on my sporting attire, and headed for SkyHigh. That was mistake number 1!!!! Mistake number two came when I signed my life away 2 TIMES stating that I wouldn't sue this establishment upon injury. Mistake number 3 came when I watched two employees escort 2 injured jumpers off the trampoline before I even stepped onto it. And finally, MISTAKE NUMBER 4....Do not show off thinking you are a teenager when you haven't been on a trampoline for over 10 years!!! It all began with a beautiful toe touch..I thought I would warm up with this before trying a single front flip. Back in the day I used to be able to pull off a double front flip. I jumped until I felt the right height was achieved and then flew into the air, pointed my toes, and executed the most perfect toe touch, Annika quoted it as an EPIC toe touch. Upon landing I felt my leg go sideways and snap all the way up into my hip. When I looked at my leg I thought for sure I would see a bone sticking out...instead I saw my knee cap flipped over to the side of my knee, where no knee cap should be. I then decided to roll over in agony where the knee cap decided to return home in another earth shattering snap. I then became "one" with the trampoline writhing in pain as some employees came over to make the 100th injury report of the day. After a few minutes I decided that I was done with everyone staring and pointing at the hurt lady on the trampoline that had tried to show off her EPIC moves. This is where I would like to bring up Olympic gymnast Keri Strug. This is the gymnast who landed the EPIC vault move on a hurt leg back in 1996. My question to her is this...Were you on CRACK?! There is no way that I would have tried another epic toe touch after my injury. In fact instead of leaving the trampolines gracefully I crawled off...yes I said CRAWLED! In fact after I made it to the platform I decided to put a little weight on my leg (what mistake are we on?) and it popped out AGAIN! This one almost made me cry. I saved the tear though for the 3rd time it popped out about a half hour later. That time I could no longer hold them back. I was broken. Matt said I didn't check myself and therefore I wrecked myself and he was correct. So instead of looking all cute and victorious like the picture below, I left SkyHigh using two good friends as crutches, blubbering like an idiot. So my friends...the next time you decide to show off your old moves..check yourself before you wreck yourself!

P.S....I looked nothing like this!!!